Decoration Day: honoring my grandfather

Devin Owen
MSMU Class of 2026

(5/2024) During the meeting to discuss our prompt for May, Mike asked us if we knew what Decoration Day was and what it was about. Everyone at our meeting sat there in silence and looked at Mike with blank stares, waiting for him to fill us in. What we know Decoration Day as is Memorial Day, and unfortunately, we associate the day of memorial with cookouts, drinking, beach days, and fun. In reality though, the day is about honoring those who have served and now have passed.

In honor of Decoration Day, I would like to tell you all about my grandfather, John Ribinsky, Sr., who served two tours in Vietnam as an Airborne Ranger and Sergeant. Grandpop spent quite a bit of time in Germany, but his time in the war isn’t something he wanted to talk about much—he did a lot of things he wasn’t proud of, and at a very young age too. When he did talk about his time at war, he said it was "kill or be killed," he didn’t have much of a choice in the decisions he made. Grandpop was drafted in 1965, when he was only 21 years old—he didn’t sign up for the war, but he was forced to go. Can you imagine? When my mom talks about her dad, she always says that he was a "badass of the time." He was exposed to some nasty things during this time of his life, and when he described it to my older sisters, he said that he was simply just trained to kill people and survive. In 1971, he was honorably discharged and was awarded two Bronze Star Medals, Air Medal, Vietnam Service Medal, Army Commendation Medal, Vietnam Campaign Medal with 60 Device, Combat Infantryman’s Badge, and Meritorious Unit Citation. From there he worked his way up to a tugboat captain, a very well-known one at that! I cannot imagine what six-years at war can do to a man. Sometimes people have to do things they never would’ve imagined themselves to do in order to survive, and all we can do is lend a shoulder for them to lean on when they need it.

Unfortunately, I never got the opportunity to spend much time with Grandpop. He moved out to California prior to me being born and only visited us once in my childhood years. The last time I saw him in person I was only three/four years old, so even from then I don’t remember much of his last trip out to Delaware. However, even through the distance of coast to coast, we managed to maintain a relationship throughout the years. Grandpop valued penmanship and art a great deal, so it never came as a surprise to me that he would write letters whenever he could. Looking back, I think my Grandpop was the only man I’ve met who could write in cursive handwriting—and my goodness was it beautiful. He used to send little gifts with his letters too: they were usually a bunch of pens that he would find around, and I still have most of them to this day. There was one letter that he sent with a heart-shaped necklace with a dove in the center of it, it was beautiful—it now hangs from the mirror of my car so that he can be with me wherever I go. He was also a big supporter of dreams, especially mine. I once told him on a phone call that it was my dream to go to Cornell University to study Veterinary Medicine and boy was he thrilled! From that point forward he made it his mission to find and send me anything he could on Cornell—he even managed to find a first edition magazine from/about the school and sent it my way with a heartfelt note about how happy he is to be able to share my dreams with me. Granted, I never ended up going to Cornell (I applied and was rejected), but I think he would still be just as excited for me being here at The Mount and pursuing my love for writing. Afterall, he is the one who created such a love through teaching me the importance of writing letters.

His death came as a shock to my whole family. We had just spoken with him a few days prior about the holidays and what he was up to. During these few days, my sister and her husband had actually talked to him about moving him out to Delaware to live with them in their new house so that he could be closer and get to meet his great-grandchildren. Grandpop passed away on Monday December 19th, 2022, after a really bad fall outside. His knees were always very weak, he said it was from all of the jumping he did as a paratrooper during the war. This man was one of the most stubborn people I had met, always wanting to show us that he could handle anything and do whatever he set his mind to—it makes sense why I am the way I am, its genetics. As painful as his death was for us, especially knowing that we weren’t there to do anything about it, there was a peace of mind in knowing that he passed while being truly himself—stubbornness and all. May he be resting in peace and knowing that he is so dearly missed here on Earth.

With Decoration Day approaching us very quickly, I want to reiterate the importance of celebrating those who served and have since passed on. My mother mentioned that the men coming back from war during this time weren’t always welcomed with open arms and bright smiles. Grandpop told us that many soldiers were viewed as the bad guys because of what they did while at war, or because they survived and some others didn’t—there was no life other than military when they got home and from there, they had to figure out what to do. On Decoration Day this year, let’s take a look at the lives we live and how lucky we are to be where we are, and then with that in mind, take a moment to remember those who died and those who fought to get us to this point. Thank you to those who have passed for your service; we will always remember and value you.