What next?

Jack Deatherage

(7/2025) Ever wake up wondering what to get into next?

The DW lives in dread of my doing that - the wondering rather than the waking. Though the day is fast approaching when she's likely going to dread my waking as well. Until that time - the answer to the question usually ends up costing us thousands of dollars over the span of however long it takes me to lose interest and wander off to nap time again.

When the offspring was five years old, and came home from kindergarten each day, I asked him if he'd gotten a job yet. He'd frown and claim no one would hire him because he was five. When I suggested he create his own business he'd reply, "I'm only five Dad. What business can I create?"

Thirty some years later I'm still trying to come up with a business a little kid, maybe a ten year old, could manage.

There have been and still are "businesses" kids can get into. One skinny little teen - a girl kid that occasionally hung out with the offspring - told me she'd been offered $600 for a nude photo of herself. This was around the time digital cameras were becoming affordable, but before the ubiquitous "smart phone" and Only Fans. Clearly, she knew there was a business she could easily get into. She was also aware of the "controlled substances" trade in this burg. Though I don't recall her mentioning being involved in it, she certainly knew those among her peers who were dealing. I advised against her going down either of those paths.

Nine, ten years ago, during a rash of heroin overdoses that left several young cousins of mine dead, I suggested a youth market garden to give kids something to do besides sticking needles in their arms. While that idea never made it off the ground for two main reasons - I was told it would violate the state's child labor laws and we didn't have a garden - I'm still pondering the concept.

Another idea I had involved teens making jewelry and selling it. Two attempts to get that going were partially successful. The kids really got into the making part of it, but the parents didn't want to spend money on it. The DW is still irritated that I ended up giving away most of the books, materials and tools we bought for the project.

Painting pictures on T - shirts and cloth game boards momentarily captured the imaginations of a few teens - until the parents realized they'd have to fund some of the startup costs if the kids decided to take the hobby to the next level. That idea faded as fast as the paints dried.

Friend Marda died seven years ago, a few days after telling me she was shutting down her tea/herb shop and garlic farm. The last thing I recall her saying to me was "I'll help you get into the business." Which I was definitely considering as there was no one else in the area operating such a shop. Of course, I wasn't ready to start a new adventure let alone start a business. Marda's heir quickly sold the farm and shop. What became of all her culinary books, seasoning and tea mix recipes is beyond me.

Without book titles, trying to figure out what books she worked out of is proving difficult. Making the task more difficult is the likelihood the books were trade books, probably not held by public libraries. Still, I'm ransacking the state's public libraries via Marina and finding recipes I can begin with.

Begin what with? Concocting seasoning mixes for trialing among friends and acquaintances to determine if there's any type of market for them. If there is, I'll move on to the next step in my latest scheme - creating a business kids can own and operate - provided we find an adult capable and willing to supervise the venture.

Which ain't me! I learned that fact some years ago when I got into a multi - level marketing business. Yes, I sold enough product to justify filing taxes, but after two years of it I understood I'm an employee, not a business person.

The DW was once a taste tester for a woman we knew who was putting together "short" mead kits. We have a coupla kits - the family stopped selling them at least a decade ago so I'd not be stepping on toes if I took to making and selling a similar product. Kids couldn't legally sample mead, though they could sample the drink before the yeast is added. If the basic mix isn't delightful, the resulting mead probably wouldn't be either. The kits (envelopes filled with herbs, spices and tiny packets of yeast) sit in the pantry mocking me.

Making herbal vinegar is another skill easily acquired and would be a decent accompaniment to fresh veggies sold at farmers markets. Bread, cakes and cookies are also relatively simple products to make and sell at local markets.

Back when the Frederick Towne Mall was still a thing, I met a guy earning a living peddling his artwork there, among other places. He'd create an original piece, take it to Staples and have copies of it made. He'd slap a several hundred dollars price tag on the original and sell the smaller copies for $60 each. He'd also have the art turned into greeting and post cards, which he'd sell 10 to a packet for about $20.

I used to haunt Etsy when I was selling leather goods there. I found artists selling higher end, numbered copies of their work. Some of the better ones were generating as much as $30,000 in sales a year - that was copy money! Their originals were going for over $600, plus shipping. Gods know how much they were making selling at shows, open markets, or via private contracts.

Friend Marty, back when we were planning a homestead and the future loomed bright, used to insist we have multiple sticks in the fire because we'd never know which would become a torch to light our way.

"Build your market garden and perfect your baked goods." He advised. "Keep the factory going and get your Etsy store well stocked. I'll keep breeding Rottweilers, do some custom farming, raise some 'yuppie' livestock. That way we'll always have streams of income and should one slow, or fail, the others will keep us going."

Mart's been gone 10 years now, but his advice seems to have stuck around.

There are a plethora of business ideas whirling 'round my skull, all trying to get my attention - "Pick me!" "No! Pick me!" Sheesh. How 'bout I pick all ya all?

Hell. That was easy. Now for the difficult part.

What do I create that young people would find interesting enough to come take a look at it? A crafters club? An entrepreneurs club?

Greater success with the community garden this year than I expected has me thinking I can pull off this "kids' business" program as well. But man! This is going to disrupt my nap dreams for a bit.

Opportunity's knocking. Is anyone home?