Humor Additions for Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001


    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List 

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

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E-mail us at: humor@emmitsburg.net


At 5 I learned our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.
  • At 7 I learned when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.
  • At 9 I learned just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
  • At 12 I learned if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
  • At 14 I learned although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
  • At 15 I learned silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
  • At 24 I learned brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.
  • At 26 I learned wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.
  • At 29 I learned if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
  • At 30 I learned there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
  • At 42 I learned you can make some one's day by simply sending them a little note.
  • At 44 I learned the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.
  • At 46 I learned children and grandparents are natural allies.
  • At 47 I learned no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
  • At 48 I learned singing "Amazing Grace" can lift my spirits for hours.
  • At 49 I learned motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
  • At 50 I learned you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things I learned a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
  • At 51 I learned keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.
  • At 52 I learned regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.
  • At 53 I learned making a living is not the same thing as making a life.
  • At 58 I learned if you want to do something positive for your children, work to improve your marriage.
  • At 61 I learned life sometimes gives you a second chance.
  • At 62 I learned you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
  • At 64 I learned if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing! the very best you can, happiness will find you.
  • At 65 I learned whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.
  • At 66 I learned everyone can use a prayer.
  • At 72 I learned it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell the truth, I've seen several.
  • At 75 I learned even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
  • At 82 I learned every day you should reach out and touch someone. People
  • At love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
  • At 90 I learned I still have a lot to learn.
  • At 92 I learned you should pass this on to someone you care about. Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile.

Submitted by Mike, Broomfield, Co.
  

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The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips . . .

. . . she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner. The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach. Locking his steely gray eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his soft murmurs of assurance.

He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothly released her from her constraining attire. With a sigh of surrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh. He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldly taking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need. Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that had gone unfulfilled for so long.

And, just as it seemed that ecstasy was within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too big! - it will never fit!"

Then, with a sudden rush, it slid into place as if it had been made only for her. As pleasure and contentment washed over her, she met his steady gaze, tears of gratitude shining in her eyes. And he knew it wouldn't be long before she returned. Oh, yes, this woman would want more. She would want to do it again and again and again...

Don't Ya Just Love Shopping for Shoes!

And what were you thinking?

Submitted by Vicki, Kennet Square, Pa.
  

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How to strike real fear into the minds of the Taliban


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