An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule and headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched throat. He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for us all here:

• Never be arrogant.
• Don't waste ammunition.\
• Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
• Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
• Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.

• A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
• What's the definition of a will? It's a dead give away.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• A backward poet writes in verse.
• In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
• She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,but she broke it off.
• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
• If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
• When she got married, she got a new name and a dress.
• Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A flat miner.
• When your clock is hungry,it goes back four seconds.
• The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
• A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.
• You will feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
• Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
• He often broke into a song because he couldn't find the key.
• Every calendar's days are numbered.
• A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours ...and it 'taint mine.
• A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
• He had a photographic memory..which was never developed.
• A plateau is a high form of flattery.
• The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
• Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
• When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
• Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
• When the actress saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
• Acupuncture is a jab well done.
• Marathon runners with bad footwear will suffer the agony of defeat.