April showers may bring flowers

Jack Deatherage

(4/2025) Being a child of Chaos has some advantages, lower expectations being primary. I know organization is not among them. A casual glance at my computer desk is proof of that!

The organization of files in the computer, at first glance, seem sane. Closer inspection finds fishing articles in the bread folder and bread recipes can be anywhere! My browser's bookmarks define chaos. Though a list of dog breeds tucked into ethnic foods kinda makes sense.

While chaos is survivable at the personal level- if one has a DW to manage the daily routines - it becomes inconvenient when she tells me, "You started that. You deal with it." As she has, repeatedly, concerning the community garden.

Okay, I had a 5 year plan that saw the garden expand in size and the number of people making use of it the first and second years. We were able to purchase raised beds out of pocket and with donations. A rototiller was donated by a member of the Knights of Columbus. Brian, Idiot 2, churned up a piece of old clay sewer pipe, slabs of concrete sidewalk, a golf ball, the heels of shoes and assorted chunks of red shale- lots of red shale and created the first in-ground flower and vegetable beds.

By the bye, I'm Idiot one. Brian and I argue constantly as to which of us is the bigger idiot. Given Brian's plan for the garden he may be the greater idiot, but the new community garden was my idea and I'm the idiot of record, according to this news-journal.

The second year, we were able to double the size of the garden with more donations of cash and materials. The children's librarians brought more eyes to the garden and people began asking about getting involved with the project. I didn't know what to tell them. The garden wasn't ready for more than 3 or 4 gardeners. Even so, people would stop by while the DW and First Sister were pulling weeds and I wandered about looking for ways to avoid anything mildly resembling work.

"We want to help. What can we do? How do we get a plot? How much does a plot cost?"

D'oh! I don't know! I'm building a garden. (Enter the laughing gods.)

The third gardening year begins with an email from Grants Administrator Ms Shaw:

[This is the timeline for project implementation that I put in the grant application. I based this off of having the garden beds ready to go by Mother’s Day and hopefully no more frosts.

By March 1st – place order for shed (there is a 6-week lead time). Schedule installation of waterline for April. Order supplies to include rototiller, raised beds, cattle fence, T-posts, topsoil, hay bales, wheelbarrow, worm composters, garden sign, etc.. By May 9th – installation of garden beds via volunteers and town staff. Week of May 12th – schedule ribbon cutting ceremony with all partners.]

Gah! So much for my 5-year plan! Evidently, Ms Shaw was able to order almost everything I'd asked for back when I knew the town would not receive a Sustainable Maryland grant!

The waterline was installed in March followed by the delivery of cattle panels and T-posts. The shed should arrive by mid April and I'm guessing everything else will follow quickly after that's in place. Ms Shaw asked if I'll be able to assemble, place and fill the 20 metal raised beds that are on order. If I can organize enough interested people to help with all that- yes. Though given my organizational skills (insert maniacal laughter) the town's work crew will likely do most of that task.

I've done my best to not involve town employees in this project even though the mayor, commissioners and staffers have been urging me to let the town help with expenses- approximately $7,300 to date. At least $1,000 of that was spent on materials purchased by the town. I haven't a clue as to how many man-hours the town has put into the garden. Nor can I offer a guesstimate as to how much wear and tear on my vehicle, or the amount of fuel I've burnt fetching materials to the garden.

For the sake of argument I'm going to go high with an estimate- the garden at the end of 2025 will have cost $25,000 to establish. I can easily spend twice that if the town allows us to use the entire lot. (Oh the plans Idiot's 1 and 2 have in mind for the lot!) Anyhow, using the 26 metal raised beds and 5 stock tanks as a baseline, we'll have approximately $807 tied up in each bed. Each bed is estimated to last 20 years so we'll shorten that to 15 years, which means each bed costs approximately $54 a year.

Any serious gardener can squeeze more than $54 worth of fruits, vegetables, herbs and flowers out of a 16-sq/ft bed. Gourmet garlic varieties alone, grown well in a 4'x4' bed, could be worth $160. Follow the July garlic harvest with some fall/winter vegetables and $200 worth of produce would be the average for a season- assuming the gardener knows what they's about. Me? Not being a gardener, I'm lucky to get my fill of taters and beans from a 30'x8' bed!

How would one calculate the value of the librarians' Summer STEM Program inspiring some kidlet to discover a passion for the sciences involved in gardening?

I'm told the garden also draws out of town visitors to this place! I'm rarely in the garden for more than an hour a day during the warm season so I've only spoken to a few of the visitors. Of those I've met- two were from an island in the Caribbean, a few farmers from PA, one from Georgia and another from Baltimore. A member of the Thurmont Green Team spent some time quizzing me on the use of cattle panels as trellises, congratulating me on what we've managed to build so far and commiserating with me on the difficulties involved in creating a community garden. The latter being: getting the word out to the public and a general lack of interest among the citizenry that are aware of the projects.

Meh. We're going to build the garden. Perhaps not as I envision it with roses lining South Seton Avenue and perennial, biennial and annual flowerbeds lining Cedar Avenue. Maybe we won't be able to have grape vines, or fruit trees. Maybe I'll never get around to building raised beds for blueberry bushes, or currants, or gooseberries. Maybe I'll never have 10 people ask me for plots. Maybe I'll blow a knee, or enjoy a massive heart attack and drop dead dragging a semi-rotted straw bale across the lot to mulch a bed for the winter and someone else will take over with a vision of they's own?

Whatever. I'm building a garden. Want in?